I Want to Die in Upstate New York
I Want to Die in Upstate New York
I want to die in Upstate New York
Somewhere in the Adirondacks
Fixed loosely in nature
I want to look out at a pastel sunset
Setting over the moutains
In cool sweeping blues and pinks
Rich in evergreen
I want to hover over the Fulton Chain Lakes
I want to live my life like a Jackson Pollock painting
I want to hit the canvas
I want to be bright – dripping with life
I want to run off the sheet and soak the floorboards
I want to cake around the edges
And I want to die in Upstate New York
I want to twist in the vineyards
I want to swirl from post to post – vine to vine – round and round
I want to feel the cool grass on my feet
I want to wear a crown of trees
I want to trace the Hudson River with a giant’s hand
I want to sit at the top of Alster Tower on a lonely night
I want to walk the grounds of Heart Island
I want to gaze up at the night clouds forming like praying hands
I want to look up at the stained glass from the floor of Boldt Castle
I want to die in Upstate New York
Preferably in the fall
When the red drips off the foliage and spills into still waters
Shaking outward
I want to be held over them lakes in a painter’s hand
Carefully dropped from an emotional brow
I want to be the country road that drives off into nothing
I want to be big for once
I want to be as lonely as Halcyon Hall
A peaceful affirmed lonely
I want to be the leaves that live in that old building
I want to sit in the dining hall
You could join me and we could be lonely together
We could be music – wind
We could bounce about the joists
The world spins, do you think it is possible it lays down?
I walk out onto the lawn
You beside me
I stand on the verdant hillock
The moon is still mysterious
☽
I love to dream under her
Is it weird she is my anchor?
ɹoɥɔuɐ uʍop ǝpᴉsdn ʎW
She waves on the fields
There are no screams here
We are the buds in the Catskill, lover
The red roofs at Mohonk Mountain House
We can be anything in transcendence
I want to die in Upstate New York
I want you to meet me so we can explore
I want to live like a Pollock painting
Bright splashes on the canvas
I want to be lonely
Gracefully lonely
Just lonely
With you lonely
Come whistle through Howe Caverns
Through the stalagmite teeth
Let’s be potholes in the rock
Let’s be the Thousand Islands
Or sit on the sand beach of “Just Enough Room”
I’m lonesome to be lonesome with you
I’m lonesome to be lonely with you
For our colors to cross
For our ribbons to tangle – I have always been faithless
But I’ll forever be lonesome to be lonely with you
And so, the Moon’s my angel
I sit lonely in the water
I am a castle in the fog
I am fear in a box
You’re a wind over the ocean
You’re a visiting superstition
You’re a tail I follow out
I want to die in Upstate New York
I want our ribbons to tangle
Remember that time on the highway?
Driving through heaven
A dipped crown in the mountains
Crying under a golden sky
God’s too big, gods too big for us
And so, the Moon’s my angel
I’ve been running behind her
Catching whatever she throws
I want our colors to cross
I want our ribbons to tangle
I am lonely for the farmland
I’m an empty concert hall
No harmony in the walls
I am lonely
Love disguise of disappointment
My hearts a colorful balloon
Floating over a waterfall
All this light inside me
My body’s a temple, a shrine to you
in blue water
All the eyes in the city can’t match yours
Line’s of an artist, the colors of harvest
The new kicks of spring, when clouds march through the valley
The trees watch their soldiers come home
///
We are lights in motion
Red and white
Your legs near the exhaust pipe
Sitting on a big life
A faint glowing license plate of a sky
Where the numbers half shine
You’re the juiciness of a big lie
I sketch totems on the wall
Cool water rhythms and salt
Two birds dodging stones
We came from loving homes
Open eyed blues
Directed at the one you choose
I am sheets of rain
On your empty plane
A single window
An endless stare
A boundless wilderness
A green flare
Under bow and wreath
There I lay your setting leaf
An arrow guided to the Key
Same Key whom fell for Anthony
On the back of a bike
Sitting above a taillight
Looking backward at the road
As though you are falling thru the star lite
Empty palace checkered floors
A spin dive on to the nose
Opening like a rose
Light emitting from closed doors
Where whispers gather rise and swirl
Locked like a lover’s lips or curls
Zee motion tribal dances
Lips burn and lick romances
Signal fires carry calls and answers
Calypso myths
The rise and fall of earths treasure chest
Don’t hand yourself on your hang ups
Jewel studded dangers
Miss conceptions about crowns
Look to your feet it’s going down
On the back of a bike
Sitting above a taillight
Looking backward to the road
As though you are falling down a well
My hearts allowed to hurt
Tell me I can feel
I want to love you before it’s all over
Tangle tangle tangle tangle
Put your light on me
See me look at you
See me love you
This life they couldn’t prepare ya
It’s all about Sarah
I want to dive into a night sky
I want to see celestial shores
I want to fall under that big hand
With my hand in yours
I want a family album
I want to escape the fears of failing
Dive into a night sky
Thrive like a night star
I don’t want to question why I burn
An Upstate New York Night
Prices as listed (no substitutions)
10$ – There’s a frosty heart of a house
Where the love pours out
14$ – The island at the gas station hums
Hold me in a black sky
Lets be two moon slivers )) holding hands
The air hit me like a god hand
The air heard me like a good friend
Stars swooped like a swallow guarding its nest
I feel you like poetry spilling out of a brain
When you love you can’t miss
You’re like looking in on a party
You can’t hear the words but you can feel the buzz
One of these summers ill stop counting these summers
I’m just a dinosaur bone of a lover
I want to marry you again
I want to apple pick with our children
I want to die in Upstate New York
I had this dream where the world was really big
and we jumped from lilly pad to lilly pad
over the water and some people drowned
I don’t want to wake up screaming
I am lonely
I want our colors to tangle
Anytime we are frightened we can just tangle
You showed me the beauty in life
The sky watcher, the leaf peeper, the sun drinker
A role reprised
Meet me at the peek of autumn
We are what the white churches are supposed to mean
Jack-Ker-O’-lantern poem books glowing
The night like an ocean
Tales of the Rougarou still haunting
I want our children to love other people
And not fear strangers
To have hearts like a bin of apples
I want to show my children how to build something
How to run
I want to look through a wet window pane
On a damp morning
See the dots streaming down the glass
See the school bus in front of our yard
Raincoat yellow
Leaves in the lane
Sweat on the barn
Birds in the gravel
Blurred trees in the panel
Our grandmothers are here
I miss the smell of diesel
The lonely rows of the school bus
The hard, green seats
The backpacks and crumpled papers
I want to see it from my mom’s eyes
From the other side
Like peering in a bowl at a new pet
I found my life talking about how I’d die
The trick is you got to believe it
